I am alive and... well? I don’t know much about quantifying wellness— but in the age of a pandemic—I feel lucky to be healthy. There hasn’t been much activity in this blog, not just because I have been busy (work really took over life in quarantine), but because I have had a lot to say but no way to say it.

Pandy life has upended a lot of what we take for granted, and made us reevaluate a lot of what we considered foundational to our being in the pre-Covid era. Human connections and the directions of our lives and how we spend “social” time is among them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still love my friends, but this time apart without any face-to-face contact (I last saw them in October! It’s been 8 months!) has been difficult for everyone. It also made me consider what friendships entail and how far we are willing to go to maintain friendships.

I was also suddenly very aware of how small my social circle is. Now, my intentional limiting of social media usage was not much of a concern pre-pandemic, but as the weeks of social distancing turned into months I started regretting my choices just a little less. However, seeing the toxicity on most platforms these days also made me realise why I decided to cut the cord when I did.

This period of forced introspection (hah, as if I needed an excuse to look inward) has also made me more and more aware of the central conflict in my life: that between the deen and the dunya. The lokottara versus the laukika. Do I really want my hopeless romanticism to finally culminate in the life of a householder—with wife and children in tow—or do I want to make the best of (what I honestly believe) is an infinitesimally rare opportunity to break the cycle of samsara?

I know this post is disjointed and sounds like the ramblings of an ummattaka (because සබ්බේ සත්තා උම්මත්තකෝ, right?), but I need this as a waypoint to look back at someday and convince myself that whatever choice I made here was correct.

And till that day, happy journeying to you all.